I had mentioned, in passing, to a friend to mine that I started blogging recently. He told me that in due time I would give him my URL and he wouldn't have to ask for it. This morning, I felt it was time to let him into yet an other piece of my heart. While he was looking through my blog, he started making comments and to be honest, I couldn't remember what I had written. I'm only 11 posts in, but I can barely remember what my last post was.
While I was rereading what I had written, I couldn't help but think what MC was thinking while he was reading. There are two people in my life that I tell [almost] everything to. He is definitely one of those people. But it's more then just knowing everything about me, it's about being there when these things happen. The night I looked around my kitchen table and embraced the faces I had learnt to love, his face was one of them. The night I freed myself from something I was holding onto, he was there. Having people go through changes and emotionally heavy events in your life, changes a friendship. I don’t think friendship can be measured with time span, it has be measured in something greater then that. Friendship needs to be measured in depth. How deep some one gets into your heart and mind.
By letting my friend read what I had written, I let him peel back an other layer of me. I’m sure there are things I have written which he won’t be able to understand, but for the most part, what he reads he already knows. Reading my thoughts without any interruptions just reinforces how much he will understand me. But it is more then just him, reading my thoughts will help every one understand me.
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Over the past weekend, I spent more time alone then I had for a long time, [forcefully]. Having more alone time with my thoughts led me to a place I didn’t necessarily want to be. It wasn’t a bad place per-say, just some where I didn’t really want to venture to. Where was this place, you may ask? It’s a place where I think of myself in a certain light. I have always been some one who respected myself, to the fullest. I cannot wrap my head around young woman who throw themselves to men. Recently, I have been told on more then one occasion, that I am a little boy crazy. After denying this accusation for a long time, I think I have finally come to terms with it. I am not boy crazy in the sense I sleep around, but I definitely love every one right away. I know I have a big heart and I care about people way before they can even get the chance to care about me... Hence why I seem to come off as boy crazy... Anyways! There I am defending myself again...
So here it is ladies and gentlemen... I, Jay-Sara, am boy crazy. But don’t count your sheep yet guys. I am be down for the mix down, but only one channel has my attention right now. ;)
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