I had a moment of realization today while talking to a friend of mine. A few weeks ago I met a boy in a bar and had a great night with him. On paper, he seems like the perfect guy. Italian, good looking, athletic, academic, likes to party, trust worthy and probably the best kisser ever. He was very sweet to me the whole time he was in town, and I decided to just go with it and see what would happen with the whole situation. He told me this past weekend that he was thinking of coming down this week. I really want to be okay with the idea that MAYBE this guy will actually come into town and sweep me off my feet... But I can't help but think to myself, "Jay... Just... Don't give a shit."
Normally I would be totally okay with giving off this kind of a vibe to a guy... Because let's be realistic... When do I actually give a shit about a guy... Anyways so NOT my point.... My point is... What if THAT is my problem? That I go into it thinking to myself if I pretend like I don't really care about "love" and sex (the whole nine yards). What if because I think like that, it always turns into such a mess?
So... My goal with the next boy that walks into my life is to try to be as open as possible. And no, you maroons, I don't mean it in that way. I just want to be able to give SOME ONE the benefit of the doubt. Humour me why don't you...
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